All’s well that ends.
It’s not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.
When all else fails, read the directions.
Welcome to Hell. Here’s your accordion.
He who laughs last probably doesn’t understand the joke.
Never hit a guy with glasses. Always use your fists.
The only time I open my mouth is to change feet.
An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a better defense.
Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.
Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature
“Inside me, There’s a thin women trying to get out. But i can usually shut the cow up with chocolate.”
All of my friends and I are crazy.Thats what keeps us sane!
Some say the glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I say “are you gonna drink that?”
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