10-28-10 Lots of silly/stupid quotes to make you laugh

All’s well that ends.

It’s not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.

When all else fails, read the directions.

Welcome to Hell. Here’s your accordion.

He who laughs last probably doesn’t understand the joke.

Never hit a guy with glasses. Always use your fists.

The only time I open my mouth is to change feet.

An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a better defense.

Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.

Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature

“Inside me, There’s a thin women trying to get out. But i can usually shut the cow up with chocolate.”

All of my friends and I are crazy.Thats what keeps us sane!

Some say the glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I say “are you gonna drink that?”

10-28-2010 silly, Nick swardson

"Everyone loves pot brownies... but then when you bring crystal meth cupcakes to the party everyone looks at you like you are stupid"

-Nick Swarson

10-21-10 Wise Men

"Wise men speak because they have something to say, Fools, because they have to say something."

-Plato

10-21-10 Sober/Drunk

"Always do sober what you said you would do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut"

-Ernest Hemingway

10-14-10 Death Quotes

"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live. "
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

"All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. "
-Maurice Maeterlinck

"Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it."
-W. Somerset Maugham

"Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see."
-Helen Keller

"Death most resembles a prophet who is without honor in his own land or a poet who is a stranger among his people. "
-Kahlil Gibran

"Die, v.: To stop sinning suddenly. "
-Elbert Hubbard

"For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity. "
-William Penn

"Healthy children will not fear life if their elders have integrity enough not to fear death. "
-Erik H. Erikson

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. "
-Mark Twain

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-Clarence Darrow

"I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived. "
-Willa Cather

"Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other. "
-Francis Bacon

"Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. "
-Susan Ertz

"Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. "
-Edward W. Howe

10-13-10 Orson Welles

"For thirty years people have been asking me how I reconcile X with Y! The truthful answer is that I don't. Everything about me is a contradiction and so is everything about everybody else. We are made out of oppositions; we live between two poles. There is a philistine and an aesthete in all of us, and a murderer and a saint. You don't reconcile the poles. You just recognize them"

-Orson Welles

10-13-10 Hugh Hefner

"The interesting thing is how one guy, through living out his own fantasies, is living out the fantasies of so many other people."

-Hugh Hefner